Let’s start with a definition. At the Constructive Dialogue Institute (CDI), we define constructive dialogue as a form of conversation where people with different perspectives try to understand each other—without giving up their own beliefs—in order to live, learn, and work together.
I want to call attention to this part of the definition: without giving up their own beliefs. The goal of constructive dialogue isn’t to change minds or arrive at some best answer to a problem or question. Rather, the point is to build understanding between people who think differently than each other so that more productive conversations are possible. This makes constructive dialogue different from debate or deliberation.
Building understanding across different beliefs takes a commitment to developing certain mindsets and skills. I’m pretty sure questions related to these skills have flashed through all our minds at some point. Some variations of: How can I even talk to someone who I’m pretty sure thinks very differently from me? How can I respond to a view I deeply disagree with? How can I diffuse an explosive situation? How can I let someone know I hear what they are saying but I don’t agree with it?
